LGBT+ abuse


Abuse can happen regardless of age, class, disability, gender identity, sexual orientation, race or religion.

Patterns of domestic abuse can be similar in heterosexual and LGBT+ relationships, but when abuse happens within the LGBT+ community, there are several additional behaviours to consider too.

What behaviours does LGBT+ domestic abuse involve?

Domestic abuse that is LGBT+ specific doesn’t tend to happen in isolation. It’s often part of a pattern of behaviour intended to dominate and control.

It can incorporate physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse and sexual abuse.

If you’ve ever had your sexuality used as an insult, had your sexual identity criticised or been told you were over-reacting to threatening behaviour, it’s possible you’ve experienced domestic abuse.

We’ve listed some examples of LGBT+ abuse below:

  • Using your gender identity or sexuality as a basis for threats, intimidation or harm

  • Threatening to ‘out’ you to family, friends or work colleagues

  • Controlling or discouraging contact with friends or the LGBT+ community

  • Threatening to call the police and report you for abusing them

  • Deliberately using the wrong gender pronouns

  • Preventing you from accessing medical treatment or hormones

  • Minimising the harm caused by their behaviour

If you’ve experienced any of these behaviours, please know you’re not alone. You’re not to blame.

The only person responsible for domestic abuse is the abuser. We can help you. We believe you. Call us now if you need to talk.

“Don’t all couples fight from time to time?”

The occasional disagreement is perfectly normal within healthy and happy relationships. Plenty of us can relate to a time when we had heated words with our partner and all was fine. Physical violence, control and coercion are never fine.

Have you ever tolerated physical violence within your same-sex relationship because you didn’t feel like you’d be taken seriously if you tried to report it? Kept quiet when you felt like something wasn’t quite right because you were afraid you’d give the LGBT+ community a ‘bad name’ if you spoke up?

That isn’t healthy or happy. We can help you put an end to it.

“All the domestic abuse support out there is for straight couples…”

Statistics tell us that domestic abuse is a gendered crime, with women more likely to be victims and men more likely to be perpetrators.

That’s why support and advice tends to focus on helping female victims escape from male abusers.

This does not mean that we won’t help you if you’re in a LGBT+ relationship and need support. Your abuse is not less important.

You are not less deserving of a brighter and happier future than anyone else. We are here for you too.

Take a look at our get help section for more information. Or visit our services for more about how we can help.

If you need urgent temporary crisis accommodation, call our 24-hour helpline on 0300 123 5101 (or 01270 250390 if you’re calling from another area).