leaving an abusive relationship


The prospect of leaving an abusive relationship can be a daunting one. As well as fearing for your own safety – and perhaps the safety of your children – there can be several different emotional and practical considerations too.

Leaving urgently

If you’re in immediate danger and need to urgently escape from domestic abuse, you might want to leave quickly and move in with a friend or family member – or into crisis accommodation – where you can safely plan your next steps.

Read our get safe guidance for more information. Or call our 24-hour helpline on 0300 123 5101 (or 01270 250390 if you’re calling from another area) to arrange crisis accommodation. Remember, in an emergency, dial 999 and let the police help.

Taking your time

If you’re thinking of leaving but you’re not sure if you can do it – or if you’re frightened about what might happen if you try – making a safety plan and working towards small, achievable goals can make it all feel a bit less overwhelming.

We are here for you however long it takes. We know it’s not always as simple as being treated badly so packing your bags and leaving. It’s complex. You have a history together. How will the kids cope? How will you afford it? It doesn’t have to happen all at once.

Take your time. Educate yourself about different types of abuse. Arm yourself with the tools you need to keep going. Gather together important documents – including passports, birth certificates and bank details.

And develop a network of support. Reconnect with people you’ve lost touch with. Pick up the phone and talk to people. They do still care.

You deserve happiness

Abusers are good at making you believe this life is all you deserve. That this is as good as it gets. That you’d be lost without them. They’re lying. You deserve happiness. Now read that bit again:


The only person responsible for your abuse is your abuser. You didn’t cause this. You can’t control it. You cannot fix them. What you can do is leave them.

\It doesn’t have to happen right now – or next week, next month, or even next year – but you can leave and you do deserve to be happy as much as anybody else. You are worth so much more. We’ll work with you towards a brighter and happier future that is free from fear.

Read more about our services or visit our support and advice pages for help figuring out your next steps. Contact us now if you need to talk.