Real Life | Hayley & John
We started helping Hayley & John* when John’s social worker referred him to My CWA’s Lifeline programme. Scroll down to read more.
HAYLEY & JOHN
Background
Hayley and John* met at school in 2014 when they were both 15. John started to show aggressive, controlling and jealous behaviours towards Hayley not long after the relationship began.
In 2015, this escalated and John smashed Hayley’s phone and punched her in the face. In 2016, while Hayley was pregnant, John threw her into a door frame and bruised her shoulder. The following year, John strangled Hayley.
Hayley had never talked to anyone about the abuse, but in April 2019, she made a report to the police. She didn’t want to prosecute but she did want to separate. Following this report, social care became involved with the family.
HOW WE HELPED
In 2019, John’s social worker referred him to My CWA’s Lifeline programme. To begin with, John was worried about children’s social care involvement with the family, so the facilitator talked him through the child protection process.
“I remember right at the start of the programme, when I was worrying about the child protection conference… you took me to one side and spoke to me. You put things into perspective and helped me to understand.”
We supported Hayley as well as John. She told us more about the dynamics of their relationship. We helped her with a safety plan for her and her child. And we helped her develop the kind of de-escalation skills that John was learning on the Lifeline programme – to make sure they were on the same page.
Hayley also attended our Gateway programme for domestic abuse survivors. This gave her some insight into domestic abuse and its impact on children. We also referred Hayley for counselling and to New Leaf for support with getting back into employment.
The family’s social worker was updated every four weeks throughout Hayley and John’s My CWA journey. Half way through Lifeline Level 2, John recognised that he and Hayley worked better as co-parents than a couple, so the relationship ended.
The future
John and Hayley remain separated, but continue to co-parent effectively. Hayley describes John as very calm and easy to talk to, which means they can co-parent without their child being at risk of physical or emotional harm.
Hayley and her child’s wellbeing have improved considerably. John intends to volunteer on My CWA’s Lifeline programme to help young men who’ve been in his position.
“I also thought about what would’ve happened if I hadn’t have done the course and coronavirus happened and I lost my job and was stuck at home. I’d have ended up in prison.”
*Names changed to protect the identity of our service users.